Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him (Psalms 127:3-5). What happens when this reward takes a little too long to show up? First Assembly of God, Wortmanville’s (FAOGW’s) own Brother Devon and Sister Carleen Small can tell us a lot about that journey.
The couple got married in 2005 and, like most young couples, chose to enjoy their honeymoon period. A few years into marriage, as they were actively seeking conception, the realisation that something was not right became apparent. They did what most people would do in this situation: visit doctors. There was much investigation by their physicians, but they could find nothing wrong medically with either party. Fortunately for them, there were no physically diagnosed hindrances, but unfortunately, this only raised more questions in their heads about why they were not conceiving. They decided to seek God in prayer for clarity about their situation, but to their initial disappointment, there was no immediate answer. Year after year, they prayed and waited, but nothing. Sister Carleen vehemently expressed how difficult it was to be in that place.
In their seventh year of waiting, their anticipation was ignited as they were told after the ‘First Fruits’ Daniel Fast of 2012 (a 21-day corporate fast held annually in January at FAOGW) that they should prepare for a child. In their excitement at this encouragement, they purchased baby clothes and other essential items in faith. However, their excitement was short-lived since that year came and went with no baby in tow. In their ninth year of marriage, they decided to bless another family with all they had purchased since there was still no child two years later.
Many might think that this was an act of giving up, that their hope was finally crushed, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sister Carleen very passionately expressed that deep in her heart, her faith was unwavering. She did not feel as if this was a hopeless wait. She knew that God would come through for them and laughingly said, “In my heart, I was hopeful, and nobody could crush it. It will come; even if we reach Sarah and Abraham’s age, it got to happen.” Brother Devon shared that when they got married, he remembered the pastor praying that God would bless them with children, and in spite of the years that came and went, he kept reminding God that He promised to bless them with children – that they still believed in Him. He further stated that they were waiting in expectation, though they did not know how or when it would happen.
In their twelfth year of marriage, God rewarded their unwavering faith, and the couple was blessed with a healthy baby girl, Darleen Small. The very next year, they were blessed again with a healthy baby boy, Dejohn Small. God is indeed faithful!
Encountering Hardships Through The Twelve-Year Wait.
Waiting on God is hard, irrespective of the length of time one has to wait. It takes a certain level of faith and trust that only the Holy Spirit can cultivate in us to make it through. Even when we are granted God’s grace and peace, it does not absolve us from feeling every emotion that accompanies hard times. We are still flesh and blood, after all.
As one would expect, the couple encountered many hardships throughout their twelve years of waiting. Sister Carleen spoke very candidly about experiencing days where she was depressed, days where she cried at night, and also the many doctor visits that she endured and how painful it was, both physically with her body being probed and tested and also emotionally. She recounted crying many times after leaving the doctor’s office from the disheartening remarks he would make about her not being pregnant yet.
The hardships not only came from their own personal struggles battling this specific situation but also added pressure from the people surrounding them. Sister Carleen expressed that we live in a culture where people expect to see babies coming soon after a couple is married. When they don’t see what they expect, they begin to ask questions and, in some cases, make up their own assumptions about what you did or did not do without even knowing your story. This kind of feedback can be very discouraging and hurtful to those going through tough times.
Brother Devon shared that he came from a family known for having many children, so this was also expected of him. He remembers being questioned by his parents every time he visited about what was happening concerning him and his wife not having children. It came to a point where he had to distance himself from family members because of the negativity they would spew whenever he came around to visit. One family member even encouraged him to leave FAOGW to join another church in hopes that prayers elsewhere would help their situation, a proposal that he refused. Devon further recalls a statement he heard Bishop Dr Murtland Raphael Massiah C.C.H made; he recited: “God is a God of this universe. If God can’t bless you here, He can’t bless you nowhere else.” This was an encouragement for him to stay put.
Overcoming The Hardships.
Twelve years is a long time, and with every trial the couple faced during those years, a new lesson was learned that fortified them for the challenges that would inevitably come their way. With the help of God, they were able to overcome each one and receive their breakthrough.
Brother Devon said that waiting is not easy, and when you have to wait for a long time, you tend to fret and become upset. However, he realised after some time that he was not just waiting in vain but that he was waiting on God. This prompted him to promise himself that he would always serve the Lord, whether He was blessed with a child or not, and keep hope alive through it all. He referenced Job 13:15, ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him…’ saying that just like Job, he trusted God.
Sister Carleen shared a Scripture she kept near and dear to her heart even as she endured adversity during the wait: Psalm 37:4, ‘Delight yourself also in the Lord: and He shall give you the desires of your heart.’ She said that whenever she went through hard and disappointing moments, she would never remain in that place for too long. She would pick herself up and keep on going. She emphasised that her hope could not be crushed despite her circumstances not aligning with her desires for a very long time.
The couple also mentioned that the late Reverend Eileen Taite was a great source of encouragement during their waiting season. Brother Devon said that Rev. Taite would always look for him at church and inquire about his well-being (if he was not present). Whenever she would find him cleaning up around the church sanctuary, she would tap him on the shoulder and say, “Son, stay in the middle, and the runs will come.”
Both Brother Devon and Sister Carleen made themselves available to serve the Lord. They spent their time active in ministry and doing the Lord’s work while they waited. Brother Devon is an active member of the ushering ministry and plays a vital role in the Men’s ministry. Sister Carleen has continually served in Dance ministry and Missionettes, while they both serve in the Marriage and Family Life ministry. Sister Carleen commented that she tried to be pliable while waiting so God could use her.
Encouragement To Those In A Waiting Season
In the spirit of encouraging those going through a waiting season, the couple shared 1 Thessalonians 5:11, exhorting believers to “…..encourage one another and build each other up…”.
Brother Devon adjured that when waiting on God, you must remember that you are human, so feelings and emotions will occur. Whenever that happens, you need to remind yourself of who God is and keep encouraging yourself in the Word of God because if you don’t, you will begin to doubt. So, you have to build up your faith and keep trusting God. He further added that in the waiting season, there is a lot of growth and maturity that takes place.
Assessing the circle of influence you have around you is also essential, according to Brother Small, especially those giving you advice. The wrong counsel can put you on the wrong path. He said that sometimes, you have to close the door to some people, even if it is family, to keep negativity away. He emphasised aligning oneself with people that are there for you. Sister Carleen shared the same sentiments, stating that even though there were persons on the outside who spoke negatively about them, they chose to surround themselves with people of God who poured encouragement and spoke life into their situation. This was a significant motivation for the couple while they waited.
Brother Devon encouraged that while waiting on God’s timing, we may not understand everything, but His timing is perfect. He and Sister Carleen reflected on their years of waiting and said that had their children come before the time they came, they may have had challenges navigating their situation considering all that was going on in their lives at the time, so God’s timing was perfect for them. “God wanted everything to work well, so when He blesses you, He blesses you real good,” said Brother Devon. Sister Carleen also commented that you should never force God’s hand. Many times, you don’t know God’s position as it relates to your situation, so you have to pray, and this is good because it keeps you in His presence, she explained.
The couple’s final encouragement is to delight in the Lord and not lose hope; just hold on to your faith in God. Sis Carleen exhorted, “Hope thou in the Lord,” and then further urged those already doing so to continue.
