“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. ‘So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.’ Malachi 2:16 (NIV)
Divorce is mentioned several times in the Old and the New Testaments, and there are a few exceptions where divorce is condoned in the Bible. God created the institution of marriage and intended it to be good for us. When sin entered, so did the breaking of relationships. Before a divorce, however, there is a ‘secret divorce’ occurring between married couples.
The married couple presents a lovely picture of the perfect marriage and family, but inside the home, the mask comes off, and the reality is neither husband nor wife can stand the sight of each other. Some sleep in different rooms and give one another the silent treatment.
John and Paula Sandford, authors of ‘Restoring the Christian Family,’ informs that Silent divorces are deadly because it stops God’s process of making us whole, and it negatively affects the children, causing them to feel pained by their parents’ attitude towards each other. The authors further stated that tranquility is not always a sign of happiness or God’s favour. It may mean that the marriage is making an outward show while inwardly dying. Reference was made to a couple who had never fought for thirty-two years but divorced. Their peace was just an armed truce.
Signs of silent divorces can be recognised easily, according to the authors, including the husbands and wives finding excuses to spend more time with their own individual friends, lack of communication where the mate now becomes the last person to share with, etc.
Beloved, when we tell our ‘friends’ the most intimate secrets of our marriage life, we give the devil ammunition to destroy it – spending long hours at work, whether secular or ministry rather than with each other, gives the devil inroads.
We need to speak out each time we discern signs of silent divorce, including being fully immersed in the affairs of the children and domestic chores and having little or no quality time with each other. Let’s not allow the devil to win and sacrifice our marriage.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, we pray that you give us the spirit of discernment to be spiritually aware of our attitudes towards our wives/ husbands and teach us how to avoid the web of secret divorce, which commences when we prioritise people, chores, children, and jobs over our spouses. Rekindle the love for each other, destroy pride, and help us forgive one another for the emotional hurts we may knowingly or unknowingly have caused, in Jesus’s name. Amen!
Read: Jeremiah 3:8; Matthew 5:31-32
Bible Reading Guide: Psalm 34:11-22; Luke 1:57-80; Numbers 4; Numbers 5:1-10
