Marriage Maketh Man
Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall be one flesh” – Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Marriage is a sacred vow between a man and a woman to become “one flesh,” as the Scriptures state. God’s view of marriage is the divine plan for sexual relationships to become stable families and committed parents. However, suppose a man with the mentality of a boy, overshadowed by a history of abuse, fornication, and fatherlessness, entered into a marriage covenant when he has never seen a blueprint of what a good husband is but is driven (even in this uncertainty state) by his love for the woman, who despite his many imperfections (and hers) still desires to marry him. What are the possible outcomes for this family?
The bridegroom (and the bride) would make solemn vows to each other in the presence of God, the Pastor, and a crowd of witnesses. These vows include committing to each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, forsaking all others till death do they part, according to God’s holy ordinance.
The bridegroom repeats the words as guided by the marriage officer, but are the words an empty mantra, meaningless since he doesn’t believe that he has the discipline and maturity to carry out the vows? He has never seen an example.
After the wedding, the marriage commences, and his wife looks to him for guidance and direction, words of wisdom with regard to improving their financial status for the acquisition of real estate, vehicles, and the basic necessities of life. She looks to him with regard to the parenting of their children: rearing, caring, nurturing, and disciplining, but he has no point of reference that he can emulate. He was reared among the company of irresponsible men who had absconded from their responsibility of rearing their children. As a result of his failure to respond to his wife’s expectations, he displays arrogance to cover his ignorance. He retreats into his prison of addictions, alcoholism, sexual immorality, etc., as a coping mechanism to insulate himself from reality.
Beloved, many of us can identify with the aforementioned scenario, and we know as husbands that if we did not tap into God’s wisdom, protection, provision, and peace, our marriage would have been an abysmal failure. It would have been counted as another divorce statistic.
As families, we must prayerfully press forward through the ancestral curses of cohabitation, parental divorces, fatherlessness, adultery, alcohol, and drug addiction, asking that the Refiner’s fire destroy the chains and transform us into the husbands God intended us to be. If you are struggling in your marriage, please repeat this prayer:
‘Heavenly Father, help me to be the husband You intend me to be. Show me where I need to improve. Help me to be a better communicator. Help me to love my wife, and help us to grow closer to You and each other. Bless this holy commitment with courage, strength, tenacity, and, most of all, joy. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!
Read: Proverbs 12:4; Mark 10:8-9
Bible Reading Guide: Psalm 35:11-18; Luke 2:41-52; Numbers 7:66-89; Numbers 8; Numbers 9:1-14
