‘Mother’ is a title ascribed by some, to a woman who has given birth to a child. For others, it goes beyond biological reproduction. The truth is, a mother is perhaps better described than defined. More than a title, it is a role, fluid and complex, and entails immeasurable love and commitment.
The Washington Post in a 2019 Mother’s Day article was introduced this way: “Motherhood. It’s exhausting, inspiring, soul-sucking and purpose-giving. It makes you question everything, while also feeling like you know it all.” (Joyce A. May 9, 2019. Defining Mothers. The Washington Post.) This assertion is simple, yet profound because it accurately captures the complexity of the role. It speaks to the fierce love and commitment to nurture, protect, and provide for, often beyond her own strength, raising individuals while adapting and learning on the job. She prioritises the needs of her children and family above her own and often goes the extra mile to do the nearly impossible to take care of her family.
A mother is versatile. She is a caregiver, educator, nurse, therapist, counselor, coach, chauffeur, chef, and more. She is thrifty, prudent, and resourceful, taking a little and making a lot. She is the manager and administrator who keeps a mental record of the doctor’s appointments, school meetings, sport meets, bake sales, Sunday school, etc. She speaks life, inspires hope, and revives dreams.
Motherhood is determined not just by birthing a child, but also by the ability of a woman to open up her heart to a child and impact his/her life in a meaningful way. In other words, being a mom requires a big heart, with lots of love.
This article tells the story of a remarkable mother, who despite many challenges continues to parent with grace, standing firmly upon God’s Word as her foundation.
I do not Have any Choice, I Have to do it for my Children
Deaconess Nicola Watson began her journey to motherhood at just fifteen years old. When her mother migrated to the United States, the care of her younger siblings and two cousins was entrusted to her. She was forced to learn how to pack lunches, wash and iron, and keep the home clean. She also attended parent-teacher meetings as required. She was just a child, performing the role of a mother. Understandably, this responsibility deprived her of a typical childhood, but retrospectively, she believes that it prepared her for some of the challenges she would eventually face, raising children of her own.
After marriage, and at the age of thirty-one, she gave birth to her first child, a boy. She described her pregnancy as an amazing experience and reminisced on the simple joys like observing her stomach grow and anxiously awaiting the arrival of her little one.
To Deaconess Watson, managing motherhood and other responsibilities external to the home was not a difficult task; she had had a lot of practice. But her dream of raising a family with her husband by her side was soon shattered. She found herself grieving a divorce and shouldering the responsibility of caring for her two boys, alone. This, she shared, affected her physically, emotionally, and psychologically. “Many nights I cried to the point of no tears for my husband’s return,” she recalled, but after many years, she started to embrace her new reality. With God’s help and the support of a core group of people – her biological mother and a few church mothers – she overcame this hurdle.
Being aware of the potential effects an absent father could have on her boys, Deaconess Nicola worried that it may be difficult for them to become balanced, well-rounded young men. So she asked God to provide mentors who would bridge the gap left by the absence of their father in the home. And He answered her prayers. She prays for them fervently and is intentional about positive affirmations. To date, many have borne fruit.
I was not Perfect, but I Believe I Mothered Well
Raising rounded young men is no walk in the park, but Deaconess Nicola makes it look easy. Remarkably, she has made a conscientious decision to disuse any toxic system in the raising of her boys and revolutionise her own parenting approach thereby setting a healthy and wholesome precedent for her family and generations to come. She chose to create a relaxed environment for her sons to speak freely but respectfully about any issue that may be affecting them. This open communication fosters trust; undoubtedly, a win-win situation.
This supermom is a Proverbs 22:6 kind of woman who models the Scripture: ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.’ “I had to stand strong to brace them and to ensure that they took their education seriously” she asserts. “Had I given up, my boys may have been statistics in society.” As a single parent, her schedule was no doubt hectic, but she found time to be present when her sons needed her. They rarely missed a day of school. She walked from work to pick them up from school and feared for their safety on weekends when they went to lessons on their own. And she recalls proudly that they were always diligent to call her upon arrival.
Referring to the issue of negative societal stereotypes, she often reminded them that as young men, they need to be better than good. They need to be outstanding. She supervised homework every night and was proactive about assignments to ensure that they stayed on top of their workload.
At this juncture of their journey, Deaconess Watson feels accomplished. And she should. Her sons have persisted in the face of challenges, and continue to thrive. She is acutely aware that others in similar situations did not fare as well, and for this, is grateful to God. Their academic journey is ongoing, and she continues to pray for them, asking God to keep them focused.
Deaconess Nicola encourages mothers to continue nurturing their children selflessly. She also urges mothers to rely on God’s strength to help them overcome the challenges that the job entails.
Deaconess Watson is a phenomenal example of a mother who is building an incredible legacy from less-than-ideal circumstances. Her faith and reliance on God encourage us to keep Him at the helm of everything we do. Her resilience inspires us to keep fighting for the family. We pause to honour her, and mothers everywhere, who are labouring selflessly to open doors, shatter ceilings and topple status quos for their children. We pause to acknowledge and salute the mothers who love and sacrifice unreservedly. And to the God-fearing mothers, we thank you for instilling unfeigned faith in the next generation as is recorded in 2 Timothy 1:5. Happy Mother’s Day (every day).
