I am enthusiastic about Mother’s Day. I’ll go for a pink dress, my string of pearls for sure, makeup applied more meticulously than usual, and bravely strut around with a bouncier posture. I really don’t need anything to feel special. I naturally feel special just because I’m a mother. I know I will share this feeling with millions of other women, like myself, who will receive extra recognition and honour, on this second Sunday in May. Honoured, simply because we are mothers.
Motherhood is a special role for which I give thanks daily. Not all the days are smooth and easy, I’ll admit, but for the most part, they are. I find that most mothers I interact with, and I am sure that you know a few, reminisce positively. They describe motherhood with deliberate enthusiasm and delight. Motherhood is much more than a physical experience; it is not only giving birth from your physical body. Motherhood is also the most beautiful art of nurturing and loving someone from the depth of your heart without expecting anything in return.
Nurturing
Who am I? Am I worthy? Am I whole? These are the silent, fundamental questions of life. We must seek to respond well. Our children require our best selves.
We give a blueprint, for life, to our children whether we are conscious of it or not. Our voices are always in their heads. Mothers have great power over their children and that is an immeasurable responsibility. I believe that is why we as mothers need to occupy our role in a purposeful, intentional way, with intensified awareness and commitment. Motherhood is the lynchpin that will impact how our children will prosper. Everything revolves around the way mothers nurture their children: the way they learn to independently take care of themselves, how they care for and interact with others, how they show kindness, how they handle their emotions and how they cope with differences. Our ability to nurture also influences their ability to be able to innovate. Could it be that we as mothers are the beginning of a global transformation for the next generation and the next and the next? Yes, we possess the indubitable power to nurture our children. There are women who strongly feel that motherhood impairs their ability to grow as independent, career-oriented individuals. Having been there myself, I can now testify that being a mother provides unique development made possible only through motherhood itself. Being a mother fosters the nurturing side of a woman that may otherwise be dormant. I would say few roles outside of motherhood engage me fully both physically and emotionally.
Motherhood stirs sentiments in me that I didn’t know existed; it enables me to feel good about myself and how I go about treating others.
Teaching
Spending time with my children, moment after moment after moment is as special as it is significant, although I must admit it may not always be glamorous. It starts early in the morning as they brush their teeth, and as I get them off to school. At the end of the school day, I take off their backpacks, soothe their tears, calm their fears, answer their doubts, and put them to sleep at night. Within these seemingly little things, mothers hold enormous transformative power. I am not just a mother speaking off of my emotional side, but research has shown how parenting impacts the life of a child both emotionally and psychologically. The child becomes an adult who is influenced by those emotional and physiological tenets. John Gottman, Ph.D. in his book “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” studied more than 120 families. An excerpt of his research states “I call the parents who get involved with their children’s feelings “Emotional Coaches.” Much like athletic coaches, they teach their children strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs. They don’t object to their children’s displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life…”
We are not the only ones teaching our children. There are many confusing influences in our children’s lives that can shape them indeterminably. We may have little or no influence on these outside factors. But, as mothers, the relationship we nurture with our children can have irrefutable power. We can teach our children attitudes and behaviors that will keep them resilient. We need to teach them that failure is a part of life. It’s not a reason to feel defeated, but rather, it can be an opportunity to do things differently to be successful. We need to teach boundaries and limits that will encourage self-discipline and wise decision-making as they prepare to explore the world.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)
Is Motherhood worth it?
Is having children worth the hard work and the sacrifices made as a mother? A resounding “YES!”, is the answer. The ups and downs are equitably balanced by the joy and love my children have brought into my life. Being a mother is a blessing, honour and privilege. Motherhood goes to the essence of being alive as a woman, as a human, and experiencing life in richness. Personally, motherhood is a twofold blessing for me: seeing everything through my own eyes and through the eyes of my two children. I have learnt through them to delight in simple things. As a young mother, I remember lying on a blanket in the National Park watching my children pluck grass to feed the manatees giggling with so much joy. I watched them pick wildflowers for me, reminiscing decades back when I picked wildflowers for my mom. These memories, though simple, are nostalgic. They instill in me a sense of awareness that this is what motherhood is all about and by extension, this is what life is all about – beauty in the simple and the complex, love, sacrifice, and wondersome joy.
Releasing: Mothers Dilemma
If we ponder the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus, we will recognise key elements of love and sacrifice. This sculpture by Michelangelo called the Pieta, depicts the dead body of Jesus after his crucifixion, draped across the Virgin Mary’s lap as she looks down upon his body in grief. Mary sacrificed as a mother. She offered her son to be sacrificed for the world. Jesus suffered, had troubles in life, faced many failures/rejections, and died. It was also a sacrifice of the mother. The ultimate sacrifice to nurture, teach and release. That is an act of great courage. She should be our example to nurture, teach and release our children knowing that God Almighty is in control. As we invest in our children through effective parenting and mothering, we are guiding them towards becoming contributors to the overall functioning of family and society and thus, fulfilling their ultimate role in God’s kingdom.
With all that’s occurring in our world, continue to be a good mother; rely on the Holy Spirit. A mother needs to have enough love, strength, patience and wisdom. Seek God as only He can grant you the grace needed to carry out this noble and privileged role.
So, whether you spend Mother’s Day with your children close to you or far apart, I pray you bask in the love and the presence of this blessed honour. May you feel them close at heart, with great memories. Nothing can separate the love of a mother from her children, near or far.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed…” Proverbs 31:28 (NKJV) *
