Sibling Rivalry – Part 1


“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 3:3 (KJV)

A healthy and happy marriage relationship involves a partnership where two people operate as a team, united in mission and direction (Genesis 2:24). When one of them succeeds, the other is happy and supportive. Unfortunately, partnership can sometimes be replaced with rivalry, as if competing on opposing teams.

Competitive signs in a relationship are red flags requiring a self-check. Here are five signs to beware of: 

  1. Hostility and insecurity: You likely feel envious and maybe a little hostile or insecure when your spouse accomplishes something, such as getting a promotion or winning an award.
  2. Anger over joy: You may get angry when your spouse does something well or begin to hope they will fail instead of finding joy.
  3. Selfish win: You feel the need to “one-up” your spouse in multiple areas of life.
  4. Low self-worth: When your spouse succeeds at a task that is within your area of strength or expertise, you begin to doubt your abilities or feel diminished. 
  5. Splintered: It seems as if you and your spouse are not on the same page, and you tend to do most things separately.

These are deep and heavy issues that may show up in any sibling relationship. The word ‘sibling’ is used intentionally, as your spouse is also your sibling in Christ (Romans 12:5). May the above never be your portion or that of a loved one, in Jesus’ name. 

As we go to God in prayer today, ask Him for grace and wisdom to set right your heart and your relationship right. Ask Him to: 

  1. Root it out: Ask God to show you the source of the competition, as it may result from your own insecurities that cannot allow another to shine. May He remove any ‘god-complex’ that may reside in your hearts.
  2. Root for each other: Ask God to show you how to compliment your spouse so that they feel empowered and respected. May He show you how your strengths can fuse for a better outcome in creative projects and difficult decisions, leaving a legacy of unity for your family and community.

Thank You, Jesus.

Read: Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:33

Bible Reading Guide: Proverbs 28:7-17; James 4; Ezekiel 38; Ezekiel 39

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